Choosing The Right Partner: Why True Love Should Be The Foundation, Not Security

In the midst of our search for love and companionship, we often find ourselves questioning whether we have found the right partner.

Michael Puma

3/9/20232 min read

blue wooden gate with a red heart painted on it
blue wooden gate with a red heart painted on it

In the midst of our search for love and companionship, we often find ourselves questioning whether we have found the right partner. We wonder if the person we are with truly loves us, or if they are just with us out of convenience or a fear of starting over. In a world where relationships are often driven by a desire for security, it is essential to understand the importance of true love as the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling partnership.

When it comes to love, many people mistake infatuation, attachment, or other motivations for true love. It is crucial to ask ourselves if we genuinely love our partner and if the feeling is mutual. True love is a two-way street, flowing naturally between both individuals. Choosing a partner based on convenience or the assumption that they love us can lead to dissatisfaction and unfulfilled needs in the long run.

Defining love can be complex, as it encompasses various aspects. For some, love may be defined by how their partner treats them, while for others, it may be based on a single desirable quality or the attention received. However, it is important to establish a clear definition of love that includes kindness, compassion, patience, and understanding. Love requires a willingness to be selfless and fulfill the needs of our partner, making it a mutually supportive and nurturing experience.

While a connection with someone can feel instant and undeniable, it is crucial to realize that deep love takes time to nurture. Many people fall into the trap of moving too quickly, mistaking chemistry or a spark for true compatibility. Chemistry may lead to a temporary attraction, but it does not guarantee a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Compatibility, on the other hand, is a vital ingredient for a successful partnership. It involves coexisting in harmony, understanding each other's needs, and adapting to one another in a relationship. It is essential to remember that compatibility is not something that can be determined solely based on surface-level attributes or a checklist. True compatibility requires emotional readiness, healed past wounds, and aligned values.

However, it is not uncommon for individuals to find themselves investing their time and energy into relationships that are not fulfilling or reciprocal. To avoid wasting time in such situations, it is crucial to be honest with ourselves about our motivations for staying in the relationship. Are we simply afraid of starting over or seeking security? True love should never be sacrificed for convenience or fear. It is essential to choose a partner based on a genuine connection, a deeply felt love, and a mutual desire to make the relationship work.

In conclusion, choosing the right partner involves understanding the importance of true love as the foundation of a successful and fulfilling relationship. True love goes beyond a surface-level attraction or a need for security; it requires a genuine connection, mutual love, and compatibility. It is essential to define love in terms of kindness, compassion, and selflessness. By prioritizing true love, we can build a strong and lasting partnership, one that brings joy, support, and fulfillment into our lives.