The Importance of Self-Improvement in Dating

Understand why self-improvement is crucial in the dating world and learn effective strategies to enhance your personal growth.

Leslie Moore

7/4/20232 min read

woman forming heart with her both hands
woman forming heart with her both hands


In our quest for love and connection, we often overlook the most important relationship of all - the one with ourselves. Just like any other relationship, our relationship with ourselves requires time, effort, and intentionality. In this deep dive, we explore the concept of self-love as a result of nurturing our relationship with ourselves, and how we can develop a higher score on the self-love scale.

Understanding the Relationship with Ourselves:

When we talk about dating ourselves, it goes beyond simply getting to know who we are. Dating ourselves means listening to ourselves, honoring our desires, and investing energy into our own well-being. We tend to invest time and effort in developing relationships with others, but often neglect ourselves. Why is it that we treat ourselves differently than we would treat a stranger we just started dating?

Designing Your Relationship with Yourself:

To deepen our relationship with ourselves, we must first determine what we want that relationship to look like. Do we want it to be fun and playful? Steamy and sexy? Mentally stimulating? The key lies in the effort and intentionality we put into it. Self-love is a result of our relationship with ourselves - the more we invest in it, the more self-love we cultivate.

The Spectrum of Self-Love:

Self-love is not a fixed concept; it exists on a spectrum. On a scale of 1 to 100, how much do you truly love yourself? Take a moment to reflect on that number. Understand that this number is a result of your relationship with yourself. Some days, you may love yourself at a 12, while on other days, you may reach an 85. It's important to embrace the fluctuations and learn to nurture self-love through consistent effort.

Nurturing Your Relationship:

So how do we nurture our relationship with ourselves and increase our self-love score? It starts with actively listening to ourselves and acknowledging our needs. Just as we would in any other relationship, we need to be sensitive, compassionate, and supportive towards ourselves. Instead of judging and criticizing, we should offer ourselves kindness and understanding in times of sadness and hardship.

Investing in Our Well-being:

One way to deepen our relationship with ourselves is by investing in our well-being. This can mean engaging in activities that bring us joy, participating in self-care routines, and prioritizing our mental and physical health. By investing time and energy into honoring ourselves, we send a powerful message that we are worthy of love and care.

Cultivating Fun and Playfulness:

A fulfilling relationship with ourselves also includes an element of fun and playfulness. Just as we would seek adventure and excitement in a romantic partnership, we can infuse our lives with moments of joy and spontaneity. Engaging in hobbies, exploring new interests, and allowing ourselves to let loose can contribute to a dynamic and vibrant relationship with ourselves.

Embracing Self-Discovery:

A vital aspect of nurturing our relationship with ourselves is self-discovery. This involves exploring our passions, values, and beliefs. By understanding ourselves on a deeper level, we can align our actions and choices with our true desires, leading to a greater sense of self-fulfillment and authenticity.


Our relationship with ourselves is just as important, if not more, than our relationships with others. By investing time, effort, and intentionality into nurturing this relationship, we can cultivate self-love as a result. Remember, self-love is a spectrum, and it requires consistent effort, listening, and nurturing. So, let's design the relationship we truly desire with ourselves and embrace the journey of self-discovery and self-love.

Incorporating these practices into our daily lives will lead us to a higher score on the self-love scale, bringing us closer to a fulfilling and meaningful relationship with ourselves.